Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Something i still don't understand
i don't think anybody might have written about experiencing while reading Sai SatCharitra, what i experienced few days ago continuously for three days. Since it happened am writing it. Few days where tough, actually it started when everything seemed right. My eyes fell on Sai Baba's picture and it looked much concerned for me, the picture seemed dark, much concern on head and eyes full of pain. It was certainly not the reflection of the inner feeling of mine as it was really well and happy.
Sai Baba was looking concerned of the times to come, things started taking turn after a couple of days and even those couple of days the picture looked the same. The mind of the family members and close ones were getting agitated apparently for trivial things, which normally does not happen. Things really went bad. In such condition after two days the picture of Sai Baba seemed to throw light and and getting ok which gave some relief to my heart and mind.
With me also there were some changes. I felt like sitting and watching the tv serials and some Hindi movies coming on tv which i am never attracted to. Then it came to me that why am i wasting the time on some meaningless movie, and opened up the Sai SatCharitra and started to read. For the first time the system was taken by fear and uncomfortable feelings while reading the sacred pothi, even the Shawl consecrated at Shirdi when i tied on the head, the feelings were not good at all. Still the reading was continued and it is known that the presence of Sai Baba is evident while reading the book, and may be something was trying to keep me away from reading it or the Grace of Sai Baba from the book was working on some karmic impressions, which brought about such uncomfortable feeling. It is because of the faith the reading was continued for three days and then that feeling went off. Although it was difficult to read and difficult to go through those feeling, i said Baba , i would like to be with you and go through this uncomfortable feeling rather than keeping the book away which felt much comfortable and nice.